In my life’s journey, I have pursued many things. I cherished knowledge. I remember when I was young, my model was Madame Curie. I admired her self discipline, zeal and perseverance. With the same spirit, I studied diligently from elementary school all the way through graduate school. In the States, I spent seven years studying without being distracted by material things. At that time, knowledge was the only beauty in my eyes. I have also pursued romantic love. I regarded romantic love more precious than life. In the fervor of romantic love, I have tasted the sweetness of life and the transformation of my personality. I have also sought after other "immortals". I wanted to become a writer. I fantasized that my writings would be passed on from generation to generation.

All of these pursuits did not bring me satisfaction, however. There was momentary happiness when a certain goal was achieved. Then I would ask myself, "Now what?". To be honest, oftentimes I found myself lost in the pursuit of these things. I made a big mistake in treating these goals as the ultimate purpose of my life, while overlooking their limitations.

Praise God that at last He led me to discover Jesus as the light of my life. Now I know that in His love and by His powerful guiding hand, I am set free from the bondage of life and can live in Him without remorse and regret.

The Burden of Life

As I recall, it was a Christian's smile that led me to Christ. It was a smile from a woman who did not have a steady income and yet had to raise several children. In her smile I saw peace, contentment and joy. I was very puzzled. I am a practicing lawyer specializing in divorce cases. I have seen far too many tears and bitterness in the cases that I handle. Of course I have seen people smile too. Some people smile when they have made some money, have a new born baby, or have been given a raise in salary. I too have had that kind of smile. I asked the woman I speak of, what was the cause of her smile. She said that she believed in God. Her answer prompted me to find out why Christianity possesses such power.

Matthew 11: 28 - 29 said "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I was weary and heavily burdened at the time. My burden was created by my own personality. I have a tendency to trap myself in a corner mentally. For instance, when I was mistreated by a person, I would persist in holding a grudge against him. I could not free myself from the bitterness. I thought of how to get revenge, but I could not bring myself to carry it out. My friends suggested ways of getting even, but all their drove me into even greater confusion. Then last year I heard brother Yuan Zhiming's testimony in a church. In his testimony his mention of original sin impacted me greatly. I pondered his testimony and took his advice to have a silent prayer when I returned home. To my surprise, I soon found that I did not hate that person any more. I couldn't describe how delightful the feeling was when the burden was lifted from my shoulder.

My Growth in the Fellowship

A few months later I visited the Chinese Young Adult Christian Fellowship in New York. I did not intend to become a regular member, but the warmth and faith of the group attracted me back again and again. I still had difficulty believing the Bible. I could not understand why the group members studied the book so diligently. To me it was filled with myths. I thought God was such a tyrant that he drove Eve out of the garden of Eden just because she ate an apple. He was not the same God that I experienced in prayer and worship. Besides, the Big Bang and evolutionary theories were deeply rooted in my thinking since childhood. It was hard for me to accept new possibilities. After a period of time in the fellowship, however, I started to accept the teaching of the Bible. My favorite scripture verse is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. It says, "Love is patient, love is kind

verse in my life, things are becoming smoother, decisions made turned out to be correct and the pressure from work was greatly reduced as peace and joy took over in my heart. I started to believe what Psalm 1 said, "Bless is the man whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers."

Now I firmly believe that in order to receive enlightenment from God, a whole hearted effort is required. You can only experience God's presence with your heart. Reasoning alone will never enable you to open up your heart to God. As my faith grows, I am truly convinced by the wisdom of the Bible. There is no human wisdom that can stand in comparison. I am deeply convinced that humbling myself in the presence of the Creator of heaven and earth, keeping His law, and walking in the path that He directs is the primary goal of my life.

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Mr. Hsieh, Linnan came from Guangxi province of China. He Obtained a Master of English Literature and a Master of Law in the United States and is now practicing law in New York.