The writer, Ding Guo, came from Shanghai and had been a research staff at Oriental Literature of Japan and a Ph. D. student at a Japanese University; presently a master degree student at Regent College in Canada, working as a reporter and editor at "Ming News" of Canada concurrently.

He'd left China some 12 years ago. In this essay, he recalled thoughts on his experience of going overseas to Japan. He had been an excellent student and was very proud and confident as he set out to Japan as the first visiting scholar who had passed the exam in Japanese. However, he confessed to an inner fear and struggle that he would not be successful overseas. He recalled the fist meeting with his Japanese sponsor, a well-known historian, who had met him at the airport and taken him to a restaurant. He noticed that his host was bowing his head and saying grace before his meal. At that time, he thought it was a Japanese custom. In any case, he did not enjoy the Japanese meal of raw fish, etc. This just totally wiped out his enthusiasm of being overseas!

The years he spent in Japan were focused totally on making money and getting degrees. Outwardly, he seemed to enjoy the freedom, but inwardly, he felt shackled. To save on expenses, he was 'forever' eating egg fried rice; and rather than buying reading material, he would pick up magazines left on trams or buses. Hiding behind the excuse of learning more western culture, he got somewhat hooked on reading X-rated books in the stores. When writing home, however, he'd make up all kinds of stories to exaggerate his success and enjoyment abroad. This style of living continued on into his University years. Still chasing after dollars and degrees, his life felt empty and spirit deteriorating, culminated into some life storms and crises.

In his observation, visiting students/scholars to Japan do not have the opportunity of soon being exposed to Christianity as those who visit the N. American countries. But in his own case, he could not blame his fate; for wasn't he introduced to it on his first day in Japan with his sponsor? The first Japanese he met was a Christian! But due to his pride at that time, he had rejected God. So, finally, it was only when he arrived in Canada, when he was at the end of his rope, that he allowed God to work in his life.

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