Everybody likes to have a happy marriage and live happily ever after. Nevertheless, we can't seem to predict or control our marriages. Marriages often do not happen according to our own will. I believe there is a supernatural power that controls all marriages.

According to the Chinese tradition, an old man under the moon ties men and women together with a piece of red thread. One can also find in classical Chinese operas romantic plots with a confusing start coupled with a happy ending. There are also marriages against natural rules, marriages against human morality, marriages against free will, marriages with conspiracy and marriages by wicked means. But these marriages typically end in tragedies. History offers a lot of examples like these.

One of my family members was a high-ranking official in the anti-Communist army. In Mainland China, my family background brought to me spiritual persecution and physical sufferings, both of which were far beyond words.

During the Cultural Revolution, I had heard and seen a great number of people who came from politically problematic families being persecuted to death or being driven to insanity. I was extremely frightened as the whips and fists of the Red Guards could fall on me at any time. How I longed for a confidante while I lived in total fear and loneliness! I wanted to find somebody that could provide me with political protection. Based on such a marital principle, I married a graduate student, a Communist Party member of excellent political background.

Because of our completely different backgrounds, different viewpoints and different personal interests, our marriage never clicked and love never developed between us. Finally we had to end up in divorce.

In 1985, I had a chance to come to America as a visiting scholar. Following many years of tough life in China, I was touched by the comfort of Christian love. And I experienced miracles that God alone was able to accomplish. Three years later, I was baptized and became a daughter of the Lord with his grace.

American life was both fast-paced and real. In the first few years I often spent ten to twelve hours a day in the lab, six and a half days a week.

One Saturday afternoon toward the end of 1986, an American gentleman Edward unexpectedly came to my lab. He just got divorced. He could find nothing to do during weekends and so he came along with Xiao Huang, his roommate and a Chinese student who worked in the lab, to spend the afternoon in the lab. As if we were predestined, our first meeting went quite well. The subject of gene engineering, which was interesting to both of us, significantly shortened the distance between a Chinese and an American of completely different background. Eyes are the windows of souls. It didn't take long before I was able to capture from his bluish green eyes my youth long gone. In him I saw the shadow of the prince in my dream. His mere appearance instantly revived my otherwise withered heart.

Six years had gone by before we decided to get married. On August 1, 1992, we had our wedding ceremony in a Chinese church in Orange County. We both made the marriage covenant in front of God and we both prayed for His blessings.

Our marriage won a lot of blessings: "Your marriage is really made possible by God." Old friends who knew my personality were specially surprised because they knew very well that I used to be an ill-tempered woman, stubborn, impatient and abusive. Female temperament was foreign to me.

What they didn't know, however, was that God's great love had transformed me from a feminist into a nice lady protected by American in-laws, loved by American husband, and respected by American stepchildren!

There were still a lot of differences between my husband Ed and me in lifestyle, point of views, culture and values. But God had made us live together so that we were able to complement each other with different personalities. Ed was thoughtful and I was forgetfulˇXso he took care of the external and I took care of the internal. Ed was patient and I was impatientˇXso we never had lengthy quarrels. He liked to eat Chinese food and I was an expert in Sichuan cuisineˇXso we got along pretty well. Ed was a hundred percent American and I immigrated to America at mid-ageˇXso we had some language problems but those could be fun too. For instance:

I used to talk fast like a machine gun. When I got involved in an argument, I often responded to one word of my opponent with ten words of mine. With Ed, however, my machine gun simply ran out of bullets. Sometimes when Ed said something offensive, I immediately wanted to rush back at him, but my English wasn't good enough and I had no time looking up the dictionary. By the time I figured out what to say, it was either something that really wasn't what I meant to say or it was too late anyway and my anger had already subsided.

Sometimes I really didn't want to lose face to submit to Ed. But then I would come to the Lord and pray that I would have a soft and humble heart. It was wonderful to see my anger immediately going away when I quietly prayed! And Ed would look more and more lovely and his suggestions would appear more and more reasonable. Then I would be completely convinced.

In I Peter Chapter 3, Peter made additional requirements for wivesˇXbe submissive to husbands. Such submission is not forced or hopeless. But it must come from our inner heart. It is self-denial and humbleness under the power of the husband. Such submission is our wise choice based on our missions Our submission comes from God's will and it contains tremendous power in winning the love of the husband and his heart too.

After marriage, husband and wife are one. We clearly realize that our second half of life will produce two sets of footprints overlapping one another. When we stumble, we feel the pain of both bodies. When it is quiet, we hear two sets of heartbeat with the same frequency. When we praise the Lord, we cry in two voices with complete harmony.

The author came from Sichuan. She is now doing biological research in University of California in Irvine.