On January 6 of this year, my father passed away. The day before, while lying on his hospital bed in the presence of many friends and relatives, he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Savior and was baptized. 

My father was a Material Science professor at Jiaotong University in Shanghai for forty years, and went through many political upheavals during his life. This molded him into a very quiet and cautious person. I remember when I first told him about my interest in Christianity while in the United States, he wrote me, "Do not join any religious organization. Just focus on your science research." When he learned that I had been baptized, he wrote me, "You have your right to choose what you want to believe. Just be careful not to mention your belief in public." Later I started to "preach the gospel" to him in my letters, and he was not too thrilled. He said, "I know these things. Please do not mention them in your letters any more for they will cause us trouble." However, just a year ago I received his phone call saying, "I have started to read the four Gospels, but I have a lot of questions." That was the very first time I saw my father humble himself before the Creator. Indeed, the Lord was seeking him out.

Last summer I went back home for the first time in nine years. My father was already hospitalized. I spent most of my time in the hospital with him trying to make up for lost time. When we prayed together, he told me, "I have been thinking about baptism. As soon as I recover, I want to be baptized." Jokingly, he said that maybe God would forgive his delay! Later, on the day before he passed away, while he was still very alert, he was baptized in the presence of more than twenty non-believing friends and relatives.

My father, who was one of the closest persons to me, has passed away! The issue of "All men shall die" has become more real than ever. It is as real as the daily routine of eating and drinking. In the past, I had not attended any of my grandparents' funeral services according to Chinese custom. Death was so remote to me, as if it were something that only happened to people in another world. When I grew older, at times I would ponder in my heart, "Where am I going?" The question, however, was often mocked by my atheistic friends who upheld "no fear of death" as their philosophy and ultimate glory. I was surprised to see that people were believing in "longevity" or "immortality" subconciously. All reasoning ability seemingly came to an abrupt halt when I was faced with this most crucial issue of life. 

The first time I ever came face to face with death was at the age of sixteen. I was sent to work in the countryside. One day I was fishing with local farmers in a river. One of the farmers did not know how to swim and began to drown. By the time we pulled him out of the water, he was dead. A man that just a few minutes ago had been talking and laughing with us was now lying stiff at our feet. I wondered, "Where did he go?" 

While in medical school, I had more opportunities to witness how fragile life was and how real death could be. As I saw the stillness of death and the heart-rending sorrow of the survivors, my question "Where do people go?" became "Where will I go?". Death became a reality that was now within my own horizon. 

I am amazed that so many Chinese people try so hard to obtain admission to foreign universities though the probability is one out of millions. The same statistics apply to winning a lottery, though the chances of obtaining admission are even slimmer. Yet people just keep on trying. Here we are, each of us facing one hundred percent assurance of death at the conclusion of our lives, and yet it seems no one cares. Has the world gone out of its mind? 

People often say, "Death? I am too young to talk about that." Is this really true? In my dreams I have often dreamt about things that happened twenty years ago. In another realm, time and space vanish so quickly. How many "twenty years" of our lives can we throw away until our lives are spent? Some may say, "Eternity? I cannot even handle this life, let alone eternity." But what if this life exists for the purpose of eternity? Are we not betting on the wrong horse and consequently suffering an irreparable loss? 

"Death is the end of everything." This is a common remark. But is it true? No. It is only avoiding the issue. If it is a possibility that there is life after death, and with it judgment, I would gladly spend my life to get hold of this "possibility" so that I can let my heart "rest".

 I tried to find my answer among both eastern and western philosophies. I found that many wise and learned people hav devoted much of their time to this centuries-old question. Indeed some philosophies have brought a few refreshing showers to this thirsty world, but they did not provide a final solution. I also tried different religions, but was similarly disappointed. 

It was not until the day my wandering mind caught the words of Jesus, that it finally found its footing. It is the authoritative proclamation from above, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:6) " I am the living bread that comes down from heaven.  If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever." (John 6:51) 

Truth is always concise and clear. It is not wrapped in untractable philosophies or ambiguous conjectures. It carries with it authority, and it is love. 

We will pass away just like the previous generations. As my children grow taller and taller, I have noticed some gray starting to creep into my hair just as it did with my father. I know this is an unchanging law of nature. I also know that the Spirit in me that was given by my Creator will take me into eternity at the conclusion of my life. The love, mercy and discipline that He revealed to me in this life is my assurance for eternity. 

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)

My father has gone and I know I will be gone someday too. But I know my home is yonder and I know I belong there. 

*****

Dr.Cai came from Shanghai, a research scientist in the medical field.