It has been nine years since I came to the United States, but things that happened in the very first year are still my favorite topics to share with my friends. It was an eventful year because in that year my life came to a turning point.  

I came to the United States for graduate studies. The first time I met my advisor, he told me that the academic environment in the United States would be very different from that of China, and that what I had learned in the past might not be useful. He advised me to be very conservative in selecting courses. It was like a bucket of water poured over my head. Throughout my entire student career, I had always been an "A+" student. I was always being praised by teachers, and had received many awards. Never had anyone advised me in this fashion. I thought, maybe he was just trying to "scare" me. A short time later however, I realized that he was right. I was actually struggling to catch up and had to take more than one incomplete during the first quarter! At UCLA there was not even three months to each quarter. Just when I started to get a feel for the subject I was reading, the mid-term was already around the corner. When I was half way through my books, the term paper was due. It was quite a situation!

On top of that, I was not used to classes that were discussion oriented. I considered myself having a good command of English, but I found out I was always one step behind my American classmates. Whenever I was ready to ask or answer questions, someone would beat me to it before I even had a chance. What frustration! All the signs told me that I was not one of the top students in my class. My self confidence and pride from my past were totally stripped off. I started to recognize my own limitations and weaknesses. For a while I did not want to look in the mirror, just to avoid facing myself.

As I look back now, I realize that the Lord was seeking me out at that time. Through all my difficulties, He humbled me. I learned to face myself and redefine my own values. Luckily, I was attending church and through my acquaintance with Christian friends I gradually came to understand why man is limited. I began to accept reality. I realized that I was neither becoming smarter nor more stupid. I was just competing at a different level. In the past, I competed locally and now I was competing internationally. The rules of the game had changed. I concluded that though man is limited, God gave each of us unique gifts and wisdom, and I had no reason to feel inadequate.

With this new attitude, I did not feel lost in class any more. I acquired a new confidence from my humbled spirit. Better yet, I could see others in a more appropriate manner. I realized that my American classmates had their own weaknesses, too. They were not Mr. Know-it-all and I was not Mr. Know-nothing. At the end of the school year, I received an "A" from my advisor. 

Besides the adjustments necessary for my studies, I needed to adjust to a new daily routine as well. My first impression about my new life was that of "being alone". There was no one telling me do's and don't and there was no one who cared about me. No one would share my burden of finding an apartment or locating financial resources for next year's expenses. Should things go wrong, there was no one to blame but myself. This is particularly true in a metropolitan city like Los Angeles where people are very indifferent to one another. Chinese people may not even say "Hi" when they pass by you.

The transportation system in Los Angeles relies heavily on the highways. Without a car, one cannot go too far, not even to shop for groceries. I remember very well how in May 1987 I panicked when I found out that, due to some mis-communication, I did not receive any scholarship for tuition and fees for the following year. Without financial aid, how was I going to finish my degree? Then I decided to work part time to support myself. I decided to spend all my savings to purchase a car for transportation in looking for a job. To my dismay, the car was completely wrecked in an accident a week later. From a human perspective I had come to the end of my rope.

The day when the accident happened, I stood alone beside my ruined car, not knowing how to get home. Streams of cars zoomed by, but no one stopped to lend a helping hand. Finally our church pastor came to my aid and took me home. A prayer chain was kicked off on my behalf. The next day, after the Sunday services, our pastor handed me a check from some brothers and sisters in the church. A few days later, another brother gave me a used car. I was overwhelmed. Tears streamed down my face. I felt like a lost boy, found at last by his beloved parents. I was not homeless in this foreign place after all. The church was my home! God cared for me, and my brothers and sisters in the Lord cared for me. 

Many Christians remind us that "man's extremity is God's opportunity." I found this to be very true. Through God's love, I regained my composure and all my problems were solved one after another. Not long afterwards, I received a full scholarship and a teaching assistantship. Throughout the seven years of study at UCLA, I did not need to look for another part time job. God's grace went beyond my expectations. 

My wife was not able to come with me when I first came to the States. This is a common situation experienced by many foreign students.

I was able to focus on my studies in the beginning. But a few weeks later, the sense of loneliness overwhelmed me. Everyday after school, I would dig into my mail box in search of letters. If I came up empty-handed, I would be gravely disappointed. Normally, I would turn on my tape recorder and listen to the tapes that I had brought from home to alleviate my homesickness. 

I came to realize that love is the most important thing in the world. One can live without a doctoral degree but not without love. I knew I had taken my wife's love for granted when I was back home. I started to think about the meaning of life, and started to study the Bible. 

In the Bible, I found a greater love the love of God. In the love of God, I find His companionship, as well as the love of Christian brothers and sisters. In His love, I am not alone, for He walks by my side.

Seven months later, my wife came to join me. Surprisingly, she had also come to know the Lord during this period of time. That is love upon love! We decided to be baptized together and started our Christian walk together.

Every foreign student has their first year in a new country. In that year we must learn how to write papers, how to participate in discussions, how to drive, how to look for housing and financial aid, etc.. I have learned all these things. But the most precious lesson I have learned is to be humble before God and to trust Him completely. Without this lesson, my studies in the U.S. would be in vain. I thank God that He led me to know Him in my first year of studying abroad. 

Mr.Wu is a research scientist in Computer Science.