"But just as He who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’" (I Peter 1:15)

A long, long time ago, I was chosen by God, but I was unaware of this great blessing until recently.

I still remember the morning of "June 4th". My husband hurried home from Tienanmen Square, took the house keys and fled for his life. My daughter was eight years old at that time. She thought Daddy was going on a business trip and would return with gifts for her. When bidding him farewell, she was cheerful and said, "Please come home soon!"

We all thought it would not be long before he would come back. Who could have known that three years would pass before we saw him again. A total of 1,125 days to be exact, for I counted them all.

In those three years I did not shed any tears, though I used to cry a lot. Those were times of difficulty, hopelessness and despair. I swallowed my tears and pretended to live a normal life raising my daughter. Inside however, my heart was torn in pieces by what had happened.

Then came the diagnosis of uterine cancer, stage IIb. The news totally knocked me off my feet. That day, as usual, I sent my daughter to school and I requested my neighbors to pick her up after school and take care of her. I packed a small bag and went to the hospital alone.

At that time many friends grieved over our family -- for my husband whose fate was still unknown, for my orphan-like daughter, and for me who was gravely ill. There were forty-seven people who expressed their willingness to adopt my daughter. I kept all their names in my book. Many people came to visit me and brought me milk, fruit, and even Royal Queen Bee Syrup. Inwardly I had given up because I saw no solution to my predicament.

At this time, Fongchin came to my rescue. We were staying in the same ward in the hospital. She was only thirty-four years old. She came from the country side and was married to a miner. They had a four year old daughter. She was illiterate. Because they were poor, they did not have money to see the doctor. By the time she was admitted to the hospital her cancer was in the third stage. As a result of surgery, radiation treatment and chemotherapy, she lost all her hair. Yet she was the one chosen by God to share the gospel with me.

At times I pitied her. I thought she was so poor and much more unfortunate than I was. I figured at least I was educated; I had regular income and health benefits, while she had nothing.

But in reality she was much more blessed than I was. She knew God, while I did not. She was richer than I because she was connected to the fountain of living water, while I was an empty well.

She said, "If you are willing to repent of your sins and believe in Jesus Christ, this one and only true God will heal you and save your whole family. No one on earth would be able to do that but God." Thus the living water started to nourish my heart.

I had not heard anything like this before. The only thing I remembered about God was from my elementary teacher who told us that Christianity was an instrument used by the imperialists to invade China. The other impression was from Jane who said to Rochester in my favorite novel, Jane Eyre: "Crossing the threshold of the grave, we shall all stand equal before God."

I could have easily turned down the invitation by a gravely ill, illiterate stranger to make such an important life decision. But her sincerity and her love left no room for doubts and I said, "I am willing to believe."

Two days before my operation, Fongchin took me to a church. It was a hot summer day. I knelt down before God. I had never knelt down in front of any one before. Yet there I was, kneeling in the presence of God, crying uncontrollably and unable to utter a word. Somehow, I knew God understood everything.

In the midst of the stifling heat, a fresh breeze blew over me and I heard in my heart, "Go home. Your faith has saved you."

Three days later, my husband came home. Before he came home, people said, "For sure he will not come back. Even if he does, he will be put in jail." After he came back, they said, "He must have betrayed his friends. How else could it be that he is allowed to come back?" All these things were not true. The only truth was that God wanted him home and he was home. That is all. How could non-believers ever comprehend this?

Half a year later, I was declared cured. Even the doctors admitted it was a miracle. Now I have gone back to work and God wants me to live and testify his mighty power.

Though the daily routine is still the same, my life has changed. Every morning as I kneel to pray, my heart is filled with praise and thanksgiving. I praise God for His wonderful creation of heaven and earth; I praise Him for giving me a new life from the snare of death. I know there are sufferings still, but I am given the promise: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

I thank Him for all my trials, because through them God’s good will of purifying me is carried out. Had there not been the shattering of my earthly dreams, the sufferings of my physical body, and various difficult trials in my life, I would still have remained in my sin. Suffering opened the way for me to know God. What I have gone through is nothing compared to what Moses or Job suffered, let alone the suffering of Jesus Christ who bled and died for our sins on the cross.

I do not know about tomorrow, but I know I am living in His grace. Fongchin has since been received by the Lord. In heaven, she will have eternal youth and a head full of beautiful hair. There is no more pain for her, and I can see her smiling in eternity.

The spiritual Mount Sinai is very high. The Apostle Paul, after he had finished his race, received his non-perishable crown. Every child of God should try his best to grow and attain higher ground. Fongchin was a model for me to follow. There are many other people around me that I can learn from too.

Prayer is a special privilege given by God to his children. In prayer, we can communicate with Him, get to know His will and be convicted of our sins. As I look around, I see people indulging themselves in the pursuit of money and power. They are going farther and farther away from what God planned for them. Every day I spend a long time praying for my brethren. I pray according to what the Lord has laid in my heart, "Oh Lord, please preserve this nation of the East, and save her people who are as numerous as sands on the seashore."

Forgiveness and patience are more difficult lessons than suffering. Yet when the Lord removed the blindness from my eyes, I found my husband and my daughter are much more lovely. Even his stubbornness or her growing pains are understandable. My daughter, observing this, says that I have become a smiling mom.

As I grew in prayer, I was also led to pray for those who had persecuted me. But when I closed my eyes to pray, I saw the blood of the innocent and the pain of separation in my family and I became reluctant. This battle raged in my soul for a couple of years until one day the truth of Jesus dying on the cross for sinners won its victory in my life. I cried and said, "Lord, You are righteous. Please forgive them for they knew not what they were doing."

Since then, my heart has been totally set free. As the Lord is holy, so I shall be holy too. For more than forty years I had been searching and reaching for my dream, working for my career, my family and my country. In the process I was filled with anxiety and restlessness, and never experienced a moment of peace. Now the Lord has forgiven all my sins, and the Holy Spirit has come into my heart and set me free from bondage. I am enjoying peace and rest. How wonderful it is! Lord, I thank you.

*****

This is a true story from Beijing.