The door bell rang again! Every day at around four, Rachel, my daughter's best friend, would check in with accountable punctuality. As soon as my daughter came home, Rachel would immediately follow. "Hi, Mrs. Wang. How are you¡K"

Despite all this, my daughter and I had started to conflict with each other ever since this blond-haired and blue-eyed girl stepped into our life. I had to confess that the girl was nice and polite, that her clothes were neat, and that she always said Hi to me whenever she came. Nonetheless, I still believed it was not wise for my daughter to have such a friend. The reason was simple: she was a high school drop-out. Rachel had to work during the day. As soon she got off work, she came to visit my daughter. The two best friends had a lot to share with each other and they never seemed to stop talking. Sometimes they listened to music; other times they watched TV or read fashion magazines¡Xthey were still young after all. Didn't I do the same thing when I was young? But then I gradually realized that my daughter started to get tired of schooling. She liked to do pretty much everything, household chores, gardening and what not, all but going to school. She started to make comments like "Why school? Sooner or later I'm going to find a job anyway. So why not now? Why wasting time in school?" or "What a life Rachel lives. She never has to worry about exams." Hearing these, I was extremely worried because my daughter was a junior higher and she was going to graduate in a year. How could she even think about giving up schooling?

One day, the door bell rang again and in came Rachel with her normal punctuality. To my surprise, however, the usually active girl was a bit crippled this time and looked pale, too. She told me that she fell down from a stairway at work and sprained her ankles although there were no broken bones. I brought out an herbal bandage and showed her how to apply to her wound and how to massage¡K Suddenly, she embraced me and cried: "Why are you so good to me? Why do you care about me? No one has ever shown me such love before." And she started to call me "Mother Wang!" With tears full of her face, she asked: "Would you permit Gloria to take a walk with me?"

An hour later, my daughter returned. She began to talk on and on: "Rachel never stopped crying as we walked along. She said to me: ¡¥How happy you are! How lucky you are to be in such a warm family, something I have most longed for. My parents abandoned me when I was little. My mother was a drunkard and couldn't take care of herself. My father left us and married somebody else. Nobody has ever cared for me. Nobody has ever loved me. But surprisingly, your mother cared for my wounds today! I have never had such experience in my life. You must listen to your mother. Study hard and do not let her down¡K'" As she was talking, my daughter also began to cry. And before I knew it, my tears had been all over me.

I cried because I thanked the Lord that my lost daughter came back to me. My tears were also those of repentance. The outpouring of the teenage girl's true feelings awakened me like a blow at my head and it revealed my selfishness, arrogance and narrow-mindedness¡K Despite dozens of years my junior, Rachel was far more mature than me. She was young, but she had to fully support herself. The friendship she shared with my daughter was her only joy, which, however, almost became the victim of my cruelty. I was greatly ashamed! It was a bitter lesson for me.

Having written these, I can't help broadening my subject and focusing on the entire younger generation. All around them are temptations, seductions, traps, drugs, violence and sex¡K Nevertheless, we Christians who receive abundant grace have become indifferent to these social problems. We hide ourselves in our own ivory tower and do nothing more than protecting and edifying our children. We require them to be straight-A students and we make them learn other techniques such as piano, painting and sports so that what await them in the future may be outstanding schools, ideal jobs and lots of money. When our children ask to participate in church activities, we tend to say no because we are afraid their study schedule may be affected. When our children participate in sport competition or piano contests on Sundays, we will skip Sunday church service accordingly. We even dictate our children's way for making friends and we prohibit them to be acquainted with anybody unless they can make tangible benefits from it. We urge them to stay away from those who come from broken families and who have bad habits. Love has completely left us.

First of all, get to know them. We must avoid telling stories about how we were in the past, how bitter a life we used to live, how we continue to struggle even after we come to America and how we suffer because of them. We must realize that our teenagers' life is no easier than that of ours in the past. The pressure on them is far greater than what we had to take on when we were young. Despite the fact that they speak perfect English, that they excel in education and that they enjoy material abundance, they still live in the shadow in which their black hair and yellow skin make them unfitting in the world of blue eyes and high noses. Therefore, we must understand them better. Understanding is specially important for middle-aged first generation immigrants, who typically bet their entire future on their next generation. Complaints about their children are common. But on the other hand, children also have every right to complain. "I didn't choose to come to America. I never liked this place. It was you, Mom and Dad, who chose to come here¡K"

Fourthly, the parents' spiritual life including prays, Bible study and Sunday services, becomes very important. We must keep ourselves very close to the Lord. The most important is to pray for our children. While we do not want to impose our will to our children, we "should always pray and not give up." (Lk. 18:1) Through the Bible, the Lord will teach us how to guide our children: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." (Pr. 9:10) Once we become submissive, we will begin to be blessed.

The author currently works in North Carolina. Her daughter has recently been enrolled into the State University of North Carolina.