I grew up in a little city in Southern China. I was pretty sharp in school. The Cultural Revolution shattered the rhythm of our routine school days in which the traditional morale that intellect was the only way to success used to prevail. I stopped going to school and threw myself into revolutionary movement. I joined the "army" of the Little Red Soldiers, and I saw with my own eyes that our school principle was arrested, our teacher was paraded through the streets, his property was confiscated and he eventually committed suicide. What followed was all kinds of big character posters, violence, and political movements, all of which turned my enthusiasm in the early stage of the Cultural Revolution into strong resentment against the society. During that time, I had a chance to read a few biographies of famous scientists and I had a lot of respect for them. I started to believe that science was the only chance for human civilization. The dream of becoming a scientist began to grow in me.

Then came the political wave in which young people were supposed to go to rural villages to receive re-education from peasants. I was supposed to settle down there and did the best I could. How I longed for being selected to go to college so as to realize my dream! While I was in the rural village, I met a Christian for the first time in my life. There was a Christian peasant in the village. Everybody in his family wore a cross on the neck. The peasant was always ready to help others and his deeds surprised me a little bit.

I was finally enrolled in college. I studied diligently, hoping to make up for the precious time I lost during the Cultural Revolution and my rural experience. I spent a lot of sleepless nights and I refused to go home during summer vacation. When I got good grades, I felt I had earned them and I was very proud of myself.

I graduated from college and started to work when I met a Christian for the second time in my life. Our English teacher earned a Ph.D. in economics from America. His wife told me a lot of Biblical stories as well as her own testimonies. God had protected her from being hit by the Japanese warplanes and had helped her overcome cancer. God had given her courage to rescue her husband who had almost been beaten to death during the Cultural Revolution. She told me that the wicked in the world were like weeds in the field, high and thick, but that God would get rid of them sooner or later. I started to feel pretty good about Christianity.

The research lab in America provided me with great research environment in which I completely indulged myself in the pleasure of striving for my scientific excellence. One after another, my research papers were published and more and more responsibilities in lab started to fall on me too. I forgot my family and my friends altogether. I even left my wife and my daughter and went alone to a better lab in the east coast. My wife said that I was a husband who didn't know how to love. My daughter also seemed like she didn't know me any more.

Now, my income was more than doubled. I wore suits and gave orders to others. I seemed to have achieved something. My former classmates expressed their envy, too. Nevertheless, this period of time had been the darkest of all since I came to America. Many years of research did not bring me any experience in public relations. Furthermore, my family I abandoned constantly bothered me with a strong sense of guilt. I often envied my research assistant, who routinely went home after work and went to seek entertainment with his family during weekends.

The situation continued to worsen. My science dream was shattered like a soap bubble. Facing the negative side of the society, I could no longer concentrate myself. With this chaotic mind, whatever I did failed. When evening came and the whole world seemed to be asleep, I could not get any sleep no matter how tired I was, and nothing on this earth seemed to be able to save me.

The end of human wisdom is the beginning of God's work. At this time I remembered words from the Bible: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." (Jn. 3:16) When I had a hard time getting to sleep, I repeatedly shouted: "Jesus, save me!" In the following few days, I made up my mind to quit job, to go back to the church I used to go and to reestablish my faith. I was very clear that without faith I would continue to fall into the endless pit only to be conquered by evil spirits.

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