I believe every Christian's experience of becoming a Christian is a true miracle because so many seemingly impossible people have been found and been delivered by the true living God of the universe. Take myself for example. I grew up as part of the intellectual and younger generation and I studied natural science. Today I am able to believe in the Lord and be saved, and this has to be the Lord's grace.

I was born into an intellectual family in China. Both of my parents graduated from medical school, and were both sent to work among the Tibetans in the Sichuan province where life was harsh and the weather was cold. I was raised by my grandmother, and was fortunate enough to receive a bit of education in the city. I was considered an obedient child. When I was in high school, the system of college entrance examination was restored. Though I was still young, I knew that getting into college was the only way for me not to have to go live with my parents, where my official permanent residence was. So I studied hard and fought my way into Fu Dan University. During those years in college, I studied chemistry. I also made every effort to study other fields, and began to grow interested in western ideas and western culture. At the same time, the roots of individualism gradually grew in my mind.

Although I was skeptical and rebellious about the official ideologies, I never bothered to think much about religion. I proudly held the idea that I would never believe in anything but myself. After graduating from college, I went back to work in the city. As I stepped into society, I still had no religious belief of any sort. On the one hand, I spent my free time playing mahjong, and on the other hand, I managed to retain a bit of patriotism that was typical for a traditional Chinese intellectual. So I wanted to pursue something. My idealism was extremely vague. It was probably something like "making some effort to contribute to the country and the people". Despite my confusion, I was still proud of myself, believing I was much better off than the lost generation who didn't even know how to spell the word idealism.

During the events of June 4, I got stirred up along with many other young intellectuals. Unfortunately though, what little patriotism I had left was extinguished by cruel reality. My heart was downcast to a point of grayness and darkness. In fact the biggest spiritual problem I had at that time was the lack of a dependable belief. I was confused about the significance of life and the human individual. I tried every means to pull myself out of such confusion. Nevertheless, pursuit of fame didn't bring me true satisfaction; money-losing entertainment never satisfied my thirst; and social activities only made me sick and tired of human wickedness. I began to realize that the core of the problem was in the heart. At the same time I felt very small and insignificant. With my own incurable human frailty, I couldn't even save myself, let alone my family, my country, or all of mankind.

In a deep dilemma, I felt the need for a transcending belief. I read extensively in the fields of philosophy and religion. I went from Western philosophy to Chinese classics, Buddhism, Taoism, existentialism, even qigong and astrology. I occasionally ran into a few bright spots in human wisdom, but still they failed to provide me true meaning in life. I also read a few books about Christianity. Most of these books contained skepticism, criticism or cruel remarks about Christianity. The few other books that seemed more objective and fair merely introduced Christianity as a philosophical ideology that had become part of spiritual sustenance in the West. One of these books however, entitled Salvation and Joy (by Liu Xiao-feng, published by Shanghai People's Press) made a great impression on me. The book took the approach of comparative literature, and proceeded to compare Christianity as a religious system with other philosophical religions of the East and West. Although no conclusion was drawn from the book, I was deeply impressed by Christianity and I began to search for this kind of eternal value.

During that time I was exposed to some Christian belief through some of my Christian friends. In 1990, I obtained an English-speaking tourist guide license, with which I hoped to make some extra money. Then one day, a British scientific research group contacted me through a travel agency. They were planning to go against the currents by hover-craft to the upper reaches of the Yangtse River to conduct a scientific exploration, and they wanted to hire me as an interpreter. I found their plan interesting. I wanted to make some extra money anyway, so I took a leave from where I worked and joined the British group in this unusual trip. I didn't know till much later that almost all the participants in the group were Christians, and they all had their own careers and families in Britain. They voluntarily formed the team and paid their own way for the trip. They didn't come for touring or vacation. They came for scientific exploration in the fields of geography, geology, material science and medicine. More important, they planned to use modern transportation like the hover-craft to explore the possibility of introducing advanced technology to inaccessible areas like the upper reaches of the Yangtse River, bringing medicine humane aid.

They met a number of obstacles, however. They not only had to fight the currents as well as tough conditions in the provinces of Sichuan, Gansu and the Tibetan area of Qinghai. They also had to deal with human interference. Despite the approval letter they obtained from the Chinese state department, they still had to fight their way through regional bureaucracy to the extent that I as an interpreter couldn't help feeling sorry for them. Nonetheless, these Christians simply prayed and exhibited great patience. They relied on their God and tried to forgive and understand other people with a loving heart. Day after day I lived with them for over a month in the upper reaches of the River, fighting these problems. They never had a chance to systematically preach the Gospel to me, but their attitude while confronting difficulties and their daily lifestyle was more than enough to demonstrate the kind of strength their religion had brought to them. Such a living testimony created far more impact on me than any of the philosophical theories in books. Their testimony secured a positive image of Christianity in me and without my knowing it, my prejudice and misunderstanding of Christianity were completely destroyed.

After this unusual trip, one of my buddies who studied English with me told me that he had accepted the Lord and he invited me to join a group of young people in their family Bible study. So I had an opportunity to see the new generation of Chinese Christians who shared the same background as myself, how they prayed, how they studied the Bible and how they sang hymns and shared their testimonies. I went there simply as an observer and my understanding of Christianity remained in the dimensions of culture and knowledge. I never thought about accepting the Lord, or of establishing a relationship between the Lord and my own life.

In August 1992 I came to study in America. All overseas Chinese students seemed to have to overcome a series of difficulties before they succeed, and I was no exception. I ran into all kinds of problems during my resignation, TOEFL test, GRE test and financial aid application. Four days and four nights I had to stand in line in front of the American consul in Chengdu. What was more miraculous was that I didn't receive my second I-20 form until one day before I went to the Consul! I had not accepted the Lord at that time, but I sensed that a loving hand was guiding me.

When I first came to America (Alabama University), I had a lot of difficulties. I couldn't adapt to the new environment and I couldn't stand the loneliness without my wife being with me. But Lao Liu, who came from my hometown and who happened to study in the same department as I did, came to the airport to greet me although I had never known him before. In addition, he and his family provided me with a lot of help during that time. Again and again they drove me to and from various places. It didn't take long for me to find out that they had recently become Christians. Through them I got to know other Christian friends, both Chinese and American. These "brothers and sisters" also provided me a lot of help, both material and spiritual. They took me to Bible studies and Sunday services. I was able to see through them God's love and glimpses of a peaceful life. Once again I was attracted to the belief that lay behind this kind of life.

On a Sunday in October of 1992, I attended a service in an American church. I can't quite remember what the pastor's message was, but I remember my heart was deeply touched by God's love. Toward the end of the sermon, the pastor asked those who would like to accept the Lord Jesus to come forward. My heart struggled hard as I still had a lot of questions I didn't have answers to. Nevertheless, I was so deeply moved that I couldn't help moving forward to declare to the public my decision of accepting the Lord Jesus into my life as my personal Savior and Master of my life.

Since then I have experienced many of changes in my life of which I was unaware. Like the blind that can finally see, I have adopted a brand new world view, a new outlook on life, and a new value system. I used to be very self-centered; I believed in everything I did and denied the existence of God. But now I understand God's creation and human sins, especially my own sins. God has also granted me an obedient heart that is sensitive to grace. I used to search for the significance of life and failed to find it. Now that I accept the love of Jesus Christ and am coming to know the Lord who created the heaven and the earth as well as every living creature on earth, I am able to pray to Him and read His words. I am able to come close to Him and experience His guidance and protection in my daily life. The Lord has become my spiritual sustenance when I feel sad. He provides me with strength when I encounter difficulties.

I had a bad temper in the past and I was selfish. Through the Lord's guidance I am much better now as I live in Jesus, and I am also learning to treat other people with a loving heart. The most obvious change in me is my improved relationship with my wife. Everybody says we are a happy couple who love each other and nobody can tell that we used to have a hard time together. Our happy family receives a lot of blessings from the Lord because we often pray together and we obey each other according to the words of the Bible. Deep in my heart I realize that being a Christian and a child of God enables me to see the eternal belief and goal of my life and to acquire a positive attitude toward life. My prodigal heart no longer wanders, and my lost soul has returned to its eternal home. I constantly feel the loving guidance of the Lord in my study, job-searching and career. Spiritually I also experience "a richer life" the Lord has granted me. Such a life style brings me a peaceful heart and contentment with joy that transcends external environment.

Looking back at the journey which brought me to the Lord, I am very thankful for the Lord's grace toward me. I remember I used to compare fate to God's dice. But in reality there is no coincidence with God. Throughout my entire journey, not a single step of mine was taken without the guidance of the gracious hand of the Lord, and not a single milestone was achieved without His personal care. God's love is so wonderful and so profound that I am eager to see it shared among my friends and relatives. So my friend, if you are willing to open your heart and if you are truly in search of truth, I believe God will sooner or later find you and you will also receive this wonderful grace and eternal life. This is God's desire. It is also His promise in His word: