Figure Skating

By Wen Ping

When we speak of man and woman, we cannot help thinking of love and marriage.

The horizons of love are much broader and freer than those of marriage. From a soft breeze to a strong storm across the sky, from the fluctuating drops of morning dew to the falls and rises of history, from a single flower or blade of grass to the broad expanse of the ocean, in every corner of the world love sets up a wide and spacious stage on which two hearts can interact.

By contrast, marriage occcupies a pitifully narrow space - a space no broader than an indoor skating rink. Man and woman meet in the wide space outside the rink. There they get to know each other, rising and falling together before their love finally settles down - and married life commences. Hand in hand then, they step on to the rink and begin their pas de deux - their ice ballet.

World-class figure skating competitions often appear on television and the loveliness of the pair skating impresses and moves us deeply. Not only do the skaters display the grace of two butterflies cavorting in the clear air or of a pair of fish diving in the water, but they also display perfect unison as they execute more difficult programs. They somersault, they whirl, they leap, all the while retaining their grace and style...

The rink itself is a dangerous place - and so is marriage. As they perform pair skating on the rink, the skaters can no longer do whatever they like.Yet they are still human and each of them has different skills. In every movement, they are almost certainly limited by their partner. We could say that pair skating is like a math problem where although the left side of the equation may read 1+1, if the right side of the equation is 2, then the answer is wrong. The correct answer must be 1 for the equation to work.

Sadly there is no marriage that can claim to be a perfect match from beginning to the end. Skaters who have determined on living happily ever after will soon realise how starry-eyed and bold they have been. Too soon they will find themselves experiencing falls, stumblings and complaints, followed by injuries, pain, regrets and unspeakable sadness. After that there will be grievances, compromises and quarrels about rights and wrongs. There will be times of anxiety and patient tolerance. How many sleepless nights the skaters will have to spend before they really figure out that the equation must read 1+1=1! And before they do figure it out, how many times will the graceful bride look more like an ugly shrew and the handsome bridegroom look like an evil ghoul...?

Pair skating can be irritating. And marriage can become a bore. What was believed to be a glamorous life of living happily ever after can turn out to be totally meaningless. But the skaters can learn from these experiences and turn smart, either stepping back from the rink or finding a different skating partner. But there are also those stubborn warriors who painstakingly seek to rebuild their love for one another and to dance again to their own melody, a melody which really belongs to neither one of them. It is the melody which keeps the skaters in sync. Although there may be times when they make a wrong move, the melody allows them to quickly adjust their timing and they are back together again. It is the melody that helps the skaters set a common goal and it is the melody that enables them to help each other. The melody is the the skaters' soul and the root of their marriage. Therefore, it cannot be only for the man or only for the woman. It has to be for both of them. It has to be the He who is beyond the man and the woman. If there is no melody, then skaters can never do true pair skating. If there is no synchronization, what kind of marriage can it be?

Those who have made the effort to figure out the equation of 1+1=1 are the blessed couples who know how to live together. But the best marriages belong to those who share between them the eternal melody of truth and beauty. This kind of marriage can develop quickly from immaturity to richness, and its spirit can soon turn from something superficial into the very root of life. And so the marriage can remain fresh and enduring.

God, who gave marriage to man and woman, long ago bestowed on us His eternal melody of truth and beauty. If you open the Bible and listen attentively, you will surely hear it.

The author came from Guizhou. He graduated from Beijing Normal College and now lives in California, USA.