Will the Sun Rise Tomorrow?

By Fan Xue-de

My dear brother, I have no brothers and sisters here in America, nor do you. I have always treated you as my brother, and you have treated me that way too. I remember the time my son Yang-yang was born. I would not have survived had it not been for you and your wife helping us out with shopping, baby-sitting and preparing of meals. When I needed driving lessons, you became my teacher. Early on weekend mornings, you would come around to tutor me right up till I passed the test. You were always there whenever I needed help. Although years have passed since then, I still appreciate the precious memories you have left with me. You are a symbol of that precious quality of friendship I have encountered here in America. It's much easier talked about than actually done.

Do you remember that cold winter of 1995? It was snowing heavily and I was with you in your car as we sailed along across the snow-covered plains. It was one of the times you took me shopping in the Chinese market in Chicago. At lunch-time you and your wife invited me to join you at a little Vietnamese restaurant and we had Vietnamese noodles. It was my first experience of Vietnamese noodles. How delicious they were!

As we were merrily eating our meal, all of a sudden I said to you, "I am a Christian now!" and you immediately froze. Your eyes opened wide and your eyebrows shot up and down in doubt, astonishment and disbelief. I smilingly assured you it was not April Fool's Day and that I wasn't joking. "Really, I've believed in God."

It had been about a month since I believed in the Lord, and this was the first time I had told any of my friends I was a Christian. As my most trusted friend I had wanted you to be the first to share my joy. I thought God would choose you to be the first one to hear my testimony because you knew me so well. You even knew how negative I had once been about Christianity.

But that day I simply wanted to share God's love with you, together with the peace and joy in my heart. I was especially happy to tell you that I was no longer feeling as frustrated about staying at home as I used to - you had been really concerned about my unhappiness. I told you how I was now experiencing true joy in spite of being tied down with child care, kitchen work and laundry. It was as Sister Teran had said, "All you do at home for your children, your husband or your wife, you do for the Lord Jesus."

You took my testimony seriously. You said this was wonderful and that you would give it some thought.

I knew you were really serious about it. You began reading the Bible and you often joined in Sunday worship services and other church gatherings. During Bible study classes, you listened attentively and raised genuine questions. You prayed too. You are an honest person and you did not want to fool yourself. You did not want to become a believer until you had true faith. You wanted to believe in the true God with true faith. You wouldn't believe in something simply because somebody else wanted you to.

You asked God for a sign, and the sign was to be that God would help you enroll in the Ph.D. program of a well-known university. This enrolment was part of your dream of stepping into the academic world. Oh, how you had longed for your dream to come true! But God didn't really help you in the way you had wanted. You ended up enrolling in a different school. Although your academic advisor there was also a famous teacher, you were still a bit disappointed both at yourself and at God.

One day I asked you, "Have you made up your mind yet?" and you replied, "I'd like to wait a bit longer. Perhaps tomorrow?" Then I knew that you had not really decided to believe in Jesus; you were waiting till tomorrow.

That was several years ago. The snow continues to fall as usual; then spring follows. The maple trees turn red and the autumn passes. Yet you are still waiting. And I am still waiting for your "tomorrow". While you now gaze out on the Pacific Ocean in California, I still sit here beside Lake Michigan in Chicago. Between us there are countless mountains and rivers. All I can do is remember you before God in my prayers.

Over the past few years I have often thought about that word of yours - tomorrow. After all, what is tomorrow? Will the sun rise tomorrow? When the moon shines over the ocean tomorrow and the whole world shares the same precious moment of time, are you and I looking at that same moon as it promenades across the sky, sharing the same enjoyment of the sight, the rising wind, the twinkling stars and the pounding waves?

What is tomorrow after all?

Tomorrow is both the first cry of a newborn baby and it is the last sigh of an old man on his deathbed. Tomorrow is a new dream rising in the moonlight shadows as lovers meet; it is also part of the sadness which lingers over a divorce agreement between husband and wife. Tomorrow is chilly wind and snow storms, and it is also blossoming plum trees in their thousands. Tomorrow is the fire and smoke rushing down a volcano. Tomorrow is the flashing lights and roaring thunder of an earthquake as it shakes the earth and mothers weep because their children are no more.

My dear brother, tomorrow is not in our hands. Tomorrow appears only on the calendar.

Tomorrow exists only in my plans. I may write on a piece of paper what I plan to do - my dentist's appointment is at 9:30. But there is no I. What I truly possess is only this current moment of now, not tomorrow. When the alarm clock rings tomorrow, will I still be capable of getting out of my warm bed to go to work? Tomorrow is only a probable moment overlaid with uncertainty. My tomorrow may disappear forever and it can disappear at any time.

Eternity is not yesterday or tomorrow. It is now. God's being is now. To meet with God at this moment is to be in eternity.

My dear brother, have you seen the now of eternity? Come and see for yourself. It is now that God smiles at you. It is now that the kingdom of heaven opens its narrow door to you. It is now that the blood of Jesus flows down from the cross, its drops transformed into the glowing red flowers of the hillsides or the white lilies of the fields. The blood of Jesus is transformed into morning sunshine, blazing flames - or the tears of those who repent. The gates of heaven will be open to you when you have a repentant heart.

My dear brother, to be or not to be? This was a tough decision for Prince Hamlet. But you shouldn't have to hesitate. I long for you to grasp it today because faith only comes today. If you believe now, then it is there. If you do not believe, then there is nothing. If you knew that today was your last day on earth, then your choice would be much easier to make - you would choose life. Jesus says: "I am the life". Believe and you will have new life. When you have new life, you not only have the past and the present; you also have tomorrow.

God's love is our tomorrow.

Tomorrow's sun is in God's hand.

The author came from Shandong Province. He used to teach Marxist philosophy at the provincial Party political school. Now he lives in Illinois, United States. He was the author of Why did I refuse to become a Christian published by Overseas Campus.