More than a decade ago, like many other Chinese youth I came to the United States with many dreams. These dreams were the goals and motivation for all my hard work.

My first dream was to study in a prestigious university in a challenging scientific and technological field. I dreamed of obtaining a degree and then going home to serve my own people. After a few years of hard work and study, I fulfilled my dream and received both my masters and doctoral degrees.

With the degrees came my second dream. Considering the political turmoil in my country and with increasing knowledge of the United States, I decided to establish roots in this new country. I figured, with my ability and the opportunities available here, I could earn a good name for the Chinese in this country. Pretty soon my second dream became a reality. Not only did I find a good job, but my employer also helped me to apply for permanent residence here. My wife also found a job. In just a few years, we had acquired all the things that most people dreamed of, that is a family, a house and cars. Without much difficulty, we had joined the ranks of the American middle class.

During the process of fulfilling my dreams, my life had its focus. I was motivated and there was a sense of satisfaction and excitement.

However, when all these dreams were realized, I started to feel a sense of loss. A sense of vanity overtook me. On the one hand, seemingly I had it all. On the other hand, I now found no more goals to pursue and I had lost my sense of direction in life. In the end, what did I actually gain? From here on, what should I go after? These questions bothered me a great deal.

Suddenly it dawned on me that all those things I had acquired over these years had only satisfied the material side of my life. My spiritual needs however were not met. I longed for a deeper relationship with my wife and my children. I longed to love and to be loved more. In my interpersonal dealing with others, I failed to find any reliable guideline to direct my path. I began to recognize the limitations of my own efforts.

"Was it solely my own ability that brought about the fulfillment of my American dreams?" I started to question myself over and over again. It was not the case. I recalled several occasions when it was through the help of Christian friends that I was able to weather the great difficulties of my life. Without their love, I might not have been able to achieve my dreams so smoothly.

For instance, not long after she arrived in this country, my wife had become pregnant. At the time we did not have health insurance. When I tried to purchase insurance, it was too late. To a poor student, the several thousand dollars necessary for the delivery was an astronomical sum. My advisor was a devoted Christian. Knowing our situation, he found a host family for us. The family provided us with free room and board. With the money saved, we could pay part of the medical bill. After the birth of our child, a Christian fund established at the hospital also helped by paying part of our bills. As a matter of fact, throughout my wife's pregnancy, several Christian organizations contacted us, expressing their willingness to help us. With these Christians' love and help, our family survived our first crisis in this country.

The other incident happened right after "June Fourth". At that time our two year old child was in China. Seeing the country in such turmoil and the bloody and gory pictures on television, my wife and I were burning with anxiety. We had to cancel our plan of picking him up ourselves. We worried what would happen next. At that time, some Christian friends helped put us in touch with a Christian teaching in China. Eventually he brought our child back to the United States. We did not know him prior to that time. Just because he was a Christian, we knew we could entrust our child to him.

I used to think these Christians were nice people and they had willing hearts to help others. But I failed to take a step further and asked what enabled these people to love and help strangers. I also noticed that some people took advantage of their love and help. However they did not become angry and forego their kind deeds. Why?

As I got to know them better in Bible study groups, I discovered the source of their love and strength was their faith in Jesus, the one they believed in. Because Jesus loves them, they in turn have the ability to love Him and the world. The power of this sacred love towards God simply cannot be fathomed. The living water of God nourishes their hearts daily, which enables them to love others unceasingly.

With the help of Christian friends and through the Word, I started to realize the problem of human love. In general, man desires to be loved, but he is not willing to love. We will love if we will receive love in return. We will withhold our love if we think the other party will not reciprocate, or that our love might be misunderstood. Many times we know we need to love others, but we lack the ability to love. It is easy to love those we like, but very difficult to love the unlovable or the ones we hate.

After I accepted the Lord as my Savior, I started to understand what it meant when the Bible said, "Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. . . . No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (I John 4:7,8,12) I opened my heart to God and asked Him to give me a new heart to love Him and others. I prayed that I would follow the steps of those Christians who helped me before, and sow seeds of love in families and in others’ lives.

My life has turned into a new direction since I believed in the Lord. I see a new heaven, a new earth, a new me and a new hope. A new life is growing daily inside of me. Just as the Lord Jesus promised, "whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." (John 4:14)

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Fong Li came from China and is now working in the Midwest.