I was indoctrinated in atheism from childhood; however, about ten years ago, my parents brought home a porcelain statue of Buddha, who knows from where. They burned incense before the statue all day long thinking that would bring our family peace and blessings. I, out of curiosity, also learned to burn incense and started worshipping the idol. Consequently, I enrolled in a class of Qi Gong -- practicing Qi Gong was the trend of the day. On one very special occasion, I saw a Qi Gong teacher healing the sick and driving out demons. Afterwards, I became familiar with that teacher. He told me that before he even saw me, the "spirit" inside him already revealed to him what I looked like, and that he wanted to take me in as his disciple. After that, I was often at his home trying to learn the mystery of Qi Gong and the spiritual world. I was crazy about Qi Gong; all day long I practiced using "Qi" which could make turns inside of me as I willed it.

Once as I was practicing, the middle of my forehead suddenly became very shiny, and then I saw magnificent mountains and beautiful sceneries, and I saw it as if I were looking down from above in the air. From then on, I continued to experience some supernatural phenomena while practicing Qi Gong : On one occasion, both my hands were lifted up by Qi and started to make certain hand gestures; on another occasion, "I" flew out of my body and sat on a piece of rock in a cave making hand gestures while my body was turning and floating; after doing that for a while, I suddenly saw a person's shadow standing on my right side, but before I could see the person clearly, "I" went back into my body like a whirl wind. Later I learned that these kinds of phenomena were called "sudden understanding" in Qi Gong. I also experienced feeling oppressed or pressure on my body by a dark shadow until I felt breathless, and then the dark shadow rolled away.

Just I was reaching a certain level in Qi Gong, I left China for Germany. Once I was abroad, I was exposed to more religions; especially one that was preached by a "master" in Taiwan. I was in frequent correspondence with her while I was in Germany. She required me to practice Qi Gong for two hours a day and to be on a strict vegetarian diet. In her book "The Key to Sudden Awareness", she taught people to get rid of the original sin by practicing self-denial and cultivating one's awareness, in order to escape the suffering of reincarnation and reach Buddha's level. In her explanations of the spiritual world, she also touched upon who Jesus Christ was. In her view, Jesus was merely a deceased wise teacher, and she is the present day wise teacher. At the end of the book, she advised people to accept her teachings.

I was working at a restaurant in a town in south Germany where several other Chinese of my age were also working. They had all come to Germany earlier than me, and were all Christians. When I first went to work there,they took the initiative to help me settle in, and even gave me a Bible. There was one who lived in the same dorm with me who would patiently shared and explained the Gospel and stories of Jesus Christ to me, sometimes from midnight until four o'clock in the morning. At the beginning I tried to listen patiently, because I considered Jesus to be a wise teacher. But I was not swayed from my own beliefs. I seldom talked back, for I thought I knew more than he did about the spiritual world -- "The learned do not speak, those who speak much knew little". But this brother, whether I liked it or not, continued to talk to me. He sometimes sang and sometimes prayed. He even fasted for several days while praying for me. Out of my ignorance, I called him "abnormal" at the time, not knowing that I would feel ashamed today.

Return from the Wrong Path

As I stubbornly maintained my self-centered belief of attaining enlightenment by way of Qi Gong and other religious disciplines, and rejected the Gospel, I received a letter from the "master" telling me she was coming to Germany to preach, and asking me to meet her in person. I was very excited! I intensified my yoga and other practices, and meditated on the master's teachings. At the time, I had a very strong desire to follow the master and become a monk.

Later, the Christian brother who shared the Gospel with me told me that he thought I was finished, when he learned about my state of mind.

I am the only son, and have a family of my own. My daughter was three when I left for Germany. Now I had come to a crossroads and needed to make a very serious choice as to which direction to take in life. I agonized over it and felt very much at loss. That day, off from work, I knelt on the bed pleading silently to my mentors, including the one back in China, to help me. I also pleaded to the spiritual world for help; but nothing happened. I was in despair. All of sudden, I thought of Jesus, so I cried out: "Lord Jesus, help me! ......." Instantly, tears started to break loose and a strong sense of warmth along with tremendous emotion started to overcome me; I felt all the muscles on my face becoming very tight, and I could not open my eyes. At the same time, tears continued to come out like boiling water bursting out of a tea kettle; but my mouth stayed open. From the moment I cried for Jesus' help, I could not speak for along time; all I could do was shed tears silently..........

After my tears stopped, I felt a great relief; and started to notice the Bible which was buried underneath a pile of other spiritual books next to my pillow. In the following days, whenever I had some spare time, I would take my Bible with me and sit on the grass outside my room and read hurriedly, hoping to find answers to my many questions. I found it in the following verses: "For the son of man came to seek and to save the lost." Luke 19:10 "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you". Matthew 7:7 I looked up to the sky, teary eyed, I thought: Wasn't I the one who was the lost sheep?!

The night that I decided to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, the brothers that also worked at the same restaurant raised their glasses to congratulate me, and the brother who shared the Gospel with me cried tears of joy and kept saying: "Thank you, Lord!" That was a night hard to forget; the owner thought it was my birthday and came around to say "Happy Birthday" to me.

Indeed, it was the day of my rebirth: May 1, 1993.

Right away, I joined the Bible Study every Saturday afternoon, and I devoured the Scriptures as a baby craves milk. The brothers and I often discussed life in relation to our faith and would get into heated arguments; but we always ended up kneeling down to pray and asked the Lord to grant us wisdom and lead us into the path of light.

When I prayed I often felt the Lord standing right before me, and I could talk to him freely. Sometimes I cried, sometimes I laughed, and other times I sang aloud "Alleluia! Praise the Lord!" I felt like a kid in my mother's or father's bosom -- indescribable joy, warmth and sweetness.

Besides praying for my family, I also wrote and telephoned them to share the Gospel with them, hoping by the grace of God that they would be saved soon. However, their response made me depressed. They advised me in their letters: "Be realistic! Don't get trapped! Nowadays, it is not easy to make a living and it is even harder to go abroad. Don't be foolish!" They wanted me to be careful and try to make a good living.

Eternal Response

One day I received a registration form from the Chinese Christian Training Camp of Germany. My heart was hungry for God's truth, so I thought I would even give up my job so that I could go to the camp. And then I would go home to lead my family to Christ. I wrote to my family about my intentions. They wrote back to tell me not to make rash decisions. My wife said to me on the phone several times: "How are you going to make a living if you come back? What about housing problems? We will lose face if you come home empty handed......" I was speechless by the telephone, not knowing how to respond to her. As I was wondering what to do, words came to me: "If you lose face for the Lord, the Lord will honor you". I told the brothers and sisters about this, so they got together and prayed for me, and I committed myself to the Lord, asking Him to lead the way.

The German Chinese Library mailed many spiritual books to that brother of mine. There was "Queen of the Dark Chamber", "Christian Soldiers", "The World Does Not Deserve Them", etc. So I read them in the park. I praised and thanked the Lord for giving me the opportunity and ample time to finish reading them. Christiana Tsai of the "Queen of the Dark Chamber" said to her many visitors in her dark room: "I am the queen of the dark chamber, the Lord is the lord of light". Christiana Tsai had to live in a dark room for many years, because her eyes could not be exposed to light due to a strange disease, yet she kept her faith and her love for the Lord. Through reading these books, I saw that the many spiritual giants before me were able to stand on the Lord's promises and overcome. "To him who overcomes, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I overcame and sat down with my Father on his throne." -- Revelation 3:21 Through reading these books, my faith became stronger and I was empowered by the Holy Spirit; I experienced a personal spiritual revival. I no longer felt at loss for my future, so I made a flight reservation to go back to China and signed up for the camp.

After several hours of a bumpy ride, I arrived at the Camp. The theme was "Take Root Below and Bear Fruit Above". Our life at the camp was very full. Chinese students came from all over Germany and some Chinese scholars came from Switzerland. There were a dozen or so pastors and their wives. The whole camp was full of life and the programs were well organized: morning devotion, prayer time, messages, group discussions, etc. On the last night of the camp, I, with my heart full of praise and thankfulness, went up to the podium to give testimony to how I got saved. When I shared my desire to go back to China to spread the Gospel, the main pastor of the camp stood up suggesting that all who were moved come up to the stage to pray for me. So many brothers and sisters, pastors and their wives came up and surrounded me; they put their hands on me in piles and prayed for me for a long time. Suddenly I felt a strong, warm stream passing through my body. The voices of prayers and the voices of crying (moved by the Holy Spirit) all mixed together and filled the room. I could not help but cry like a child.

At that time, I felt a strong sense of mission, and the words of the Lord Jesus entered my heart: "...Go and make disciples of all nations...." Hence, my desire to share the Gospel with family and friends has expanded beyond.........

*****

Chen, Hui came from Fujian Province, China. He has since gone back to China from Germany and led many to Christ.